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That One Person

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That One Person

I follow a simple mantra when giving presentations, talks, writing a blog, creating a video, a podcast or creating anything public for that manner.

Improve the life of ONE person

My belief is that …

If I improve the life of ONE person with my content then my job is complete and I’m happy.

If I help more than one person, then that’s all gravy, baby.

Here’s my thought process on this …

If my blog post about a bug I fixed in some app helps ONE person. I’m beyond satisfied.

This is the same approach I give to public speaking – if I help ONE person then I’m happy.

Unfortunately, so many people these days start off on the wrong foot by only submitting their talks to conferences that have a lot of attendees because that’s where they feel they’ll make the biggest impression.

Yes, big conferences are fun … but IMO it doesn’t matter how many people there.

It’s the lasting effect you leave on people that matters.

I’ve spoken to groups as small as 2 people before at small tech meetups in the midwest.

It didn’t bother me. I’m honest. Not one bit. I loved it.

I was grateful they took the time to drive out to see me, sit there with me and listen to me. Beyond grateful.

Do you know why I really loved it though?

It was because I was able to help them.

They needed something and I was able to help them in their careers and life through what I provided.

That feels good. I know it will come back around in some way or another in the future. How? I’m not sure. Life works in mysterious ways.

Let’s keep going …

If I have a crowd of 500 people that I’m speaking to, and my talk helps ONE person, JUST ONE, I’m happy.

Some might say (myself included sometimes) …

Your goals are too low, you should aim higher to have everyone get something out of it. Go big!

I see your point, but you’re never going to make everyone happy – so don’t try. Here’s the thing that should apply if you have 1 person or 500 people in your crowd – you should aim to pour yourself into your talk and your presentation. If you do this then you know you gave it your all.

If you gave 100%, you’ll know that you didn’t leave anything on the table. Additionally, you’ll know that in your heart that if that ONE person out there gets something out of your talk, you’ll be truly grateful to be a positive influence in someone’s life. Well, that’s the way I see it at least.

Let’s diverge for a second as I’m sure this question is on some of your minds …

Won’t bigger conferences magnify this effect?

Definitely Yes. The more eyes and the more people you can get in front of the more impact you can make.

HOWEVER … don’t be afraid of small meetups and gatherings though. You can find these on Meetup.com and various other places that have associations and such. These are gold mines of opportunity for personal growth and professional growth.

How?

Easy.

The formula for winning here and large arenas is this: Provide Value and help at least ONE person (yet try to help as many as possible)

If you’re doing that, then guess what? You’re doing marketing for your own personal brand and when you compound this over time it will have some insane positive changes for you during your career.

Here’s some real honesty here – the majority of my consulting contracts have come from my blog, my speaking engagements and the content I’ve put out into the public.

When I speak in front of 5 people, or 500, either way – someone out there sees it and hopefully ONE person finds value in it. That ONE person may not need my help now, but eventually, 2-3-6 months or even 2-4 years down the road they have a boss/friend/family member who needs something and they know I can help them.

You never know who’s out there. Someones wife/husband/cousin/brother/etc could be the CEO/CTO of some big company or startup that needs your exact specialty. We’re all connected in ways we’ll never fully know. Never take anything for granted.

In these instances when a friend/family member/etc needs help, the person who saw my talk will say –

“Hey, I know this person who could do exactly what you need. His name is Donn Felker. Let’s get ahold of him.”

BOOM. 💥

This is magical serendipity at work.

You might be wondering … how does this fit into becoming an independent consultant or maybe even going out on my own (something I’ve been talking about more and more)?

Simple.

That one talk turned into a consulting opportunity from that ONE person. Now I just need to seal the deal and turn it into a real contract (and I did).

You wouldn’t believe how many times this has happened in my career. More times than I can count.

Helping that one person in a talk or presentation or blog or article or whatever … that’s what has tipped the scales in my favor and it will yours too.

Helping that ONE person is what will build you an endless pipeline of prospects for you to build your career on. You’ll then be able to slowly go out on your own and start consulting, contracting, freelancing and living a life that YOU want to live.

So the next time you go to speak, write a blog, create a video or put anything out there, don’t second guess yourself. Put your 100% effort into and do it right. Most likely you’ll end up helping someone and you never know when it will come back to help you in the future.

Because …

It’s that one person that you helped and walked them through a tough problem.

It’s that one person you made a good impression on and they forever remember you.

It’s that one person you stayed after to talk to or help walk through something they didn’t understand.

It’s that one person you helped open their eyes to a new concept, tool, methodology or practice that helped change their life (even if it is only small – it doesn’t matter).

It’s that one person who was mega-nervous to talk to you because they’re super introverted but they wanted to say hi and you made them feel comfortable and welcome.

It’s that ONE person.

It’s that ONE person that will remember you.

I’m sure you remember that ONE person who did something for you or said something to you that made a difference in your life.

The next time you create something, a talk, a blog, whatever it is – remember to help …

… that ONE person.

 

Thank you for reading. If you’ve read this far, please comment below and let me know what that ONE person did in your life that made a difference.

Lastly, if you enjoy this content please sign up for my email list. I send this content out 1-2 weeks prior to it being posted on the blog.

 

📷: @whereisfarid

Achieving Your Goals Feels Good

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Achieving Goals Feels Good

Do you know what feels good?

Achieving a goal.

When you work for yourself, all you do is set your own goals. If you don’t achieve your goals in business you’ll fail fast and hard. Getting things done in a self-directed manner is paramount to your success.

Self-discipline = Success.

Even something as simple as striking something off of a list feels good.

I’m not talking about some massive goals (though those are also great to complete) – here I’m talking about any goal.

Small goals. Big goals. Huge goals. Anything.

Getting things done just feels good.

Let me give you an example …

The other day I came back from a trip to Miami. When I got home I knew I needed to bring my bags in, unpack my bags, put things away and get ready for the next day. I also needed to spend some time with my children because I missed them and had been gone for nearly 6 days. I also needed to write 1000 words for a new book I’m working on (as well as reply to some of you who have replied to some of my emails – thank you all by the way).

I got home at 715pm and usually go to bed at 9:30pm-10pm. There’s not much time to do all fo that. So I got after it as soon as the car was parked in the garage …

My first goal was to get our car unpacked.

I parked and immediately brought everything in a couple trips. Goal achieved.

That felt good. 

Next goal: Get the bags upstairs and unpack.

I brought them up, and then immediately got interrupted by the kids’ bedtime routine. For the next hour or so I helped them get ready for bed, showers, talked to them about their week and spent quality time with them. It ended with some much-needed affection between us all.

Spend time with kids: Goal achieved

That felt good.

It was now 8:45 pm and  I’m already getting tired. I still had to unpack my bags.

Ugh. At this point I’m tired, I want to start winding down.

“I can do this tomorrow”.

NO.

I pushed through the desire to relax and unpacked my bags, put everything away and put my luggage away where it belongs. It doesn’t even look like I traveled anymore.

Unpack bags: Goal achieved

That felt pretty good.  So glad that is done. 

In fact, that gave me some energy and inspiration to keep going.

I like this.

I remembered that I needed to schedule some contractors to give us some quotes on having some hardwood floors installed in part of our house.

Since it was a small goal I figured “I’ll just do that tomorrow.”

Then I realized “NO, DUMMY, you can do that right now, online in a few minutes.”

I stopped what I was doing and scheduled a contractor online to come over next week.

Schedule contractor for a quote: Goal achieved

That felt good. Damn, another thing is done. Hell yeah. I’m getting some momentum.

I’m starting to feel REAL GOOD because I’m accomplishing a lot.

After that, I sit down, turn off notifications on my computer and crank out 1000 words for my upcoming book (more on that later) and by then it’s around 10:15 pm. Past my bedtime.

Write 1000 words: Goal achieved

Goddamn, that feels good. 

I went out and hung out with my wife for a few minutes and then went to bed.

What’s the point in telling you all of this?

Because setting goals, even if small, and getting them done feels good. 

Remember that time you created a todo list and you started to strike those items off of them throughout the day? How did you feel? I’d wager that you felt pretty damn good when you were done.

I feel this way about getting things done around the house, scheduling calls, writing code, writing words or copy, anything.

Big goals or small goals. Inconsequential goals. Any of them feel good to get done. Even changing the cat litter, I’m happy when it’s done.

When you set goals, even small, and continue to execute and get them done over and over, your confidence and discipline compounds. Your confidence and discipline get stronger, and well, you get better as a person. You become a better version of who you really are.

Whatever goals you have right now, be it big or small. Start on them.

Maybe you’re feeling unproductive. Take something small, and do it. Just start it. Do something.

Take out the trash. DONE. That felt good. 

Maybe you need to do a long intensive task on the computer and you really don’t want to do it. Do it for 5 minutes, that’s all. Most likely it will compound into 15-20mins (or more). This happens to me all the time.

The goal is to set goals and get them done. Pun intended.

Why?

Achieving goals feels good and builds tremendous momentum when done over and over again.

Ride the wave of confidence into the next set of goals you have and let it propel you. 

Now I’m off to finish my next goal – hitting publish on this post.

 

Photo: Glenn Carstens-Peters

Light Therapy

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A new edition to my morning & afternoon routine – light therapy. I’ve never been one to suffer from seasonal mood disorders, however this year I felt like I was in a funk during the winter months. I kept longing for spring/summer and wished the days were longer. Hell, my favorite day of the year is Winter solstice because the days start to get “longer” (more sunlight) until the summer solstice.

I remember Tim Ferriss had mentioned light therapy at one point in the late 2000’s in one of his blog posts so I decided to give it a shot. So I bought this Verilux Happy Light VT20 (non-affiliate) about a month ago to test out light therapy. Typically, I’m sort of bearish on all the woo-woo hand wavy “it will make you feel better” stuff, but I figured it was a small investment and it was not some Pharma that was being pushed.

I’ve been using it for about a month now and I’ve experimented by doing it for a week or so, and then not doing it. I’ve found that when I do use it, I do feel more energized, awake and positive about everything. When I don’t use it, I feel like I’m in a funk. This could be all placebo, who knows, but I do know that when I do use it I don’t feel the “funk” anymore.

Here’s how I use it:
After about 30 minutes of being awake (tea, meditation, etc) I fire it up for about 30 minutes. I then turn it off, and put it on a shelf. This is usually around 5-6am~ish. I then do it again when I get home from the office (usually around 4-pm5:30pm and then use it again for another 30 minutes). (The instructions on the box said to start with 10 minutes, then work up to 15-30 minute sessions, twice a day – so that’s what I’m doing.)

An important note – ease into this. I started with 10 minutes the first few days and I felt very different, almost kind light headed at first. Then once I got used to it I bumped it up to 15 minutes and progressed from there up to 30.

I place it to the left of my keyboard (as shown above) and keep it about 12 inches from my face. Yes, it’s bright AF, but you sort of get used to it if you’re doing a task on the computer.

Overall, I think it helps. I’ll continue to use it until daylight time > night time and then I’ll box it up until next season.

You can buy the same model I have here (affiliate link), (non-affiliate).

I Don’t Have Time is a Myth

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I Don't Have Time

“I don’t have time” is a myth.

The statement, “I don’t have time”, really gets under my skin.

Why? Because you do have the time.

Get up early. Cant? Go to bed earlier.

Stop watching TV shows and YouTube channels that do nothing to help you progress in your dreams.

Stop playing video games.

Stop going out to the bar.

Stop wasting time reading news websites, Reddit, surfing Facebook or Instagram for hours.

You have the time. Its right there in your hands. Use it.

How much time would you get back if you stopped doing all of those things above? You’d be blown away by how much time you’d get back. In fact, let us dig in a little bit deeper …

Watching 45 Days of TV Per Year 👎

The average American spends 3 hours a day watching TV.

3 HOURS A DAY!

Some reports show an upwards of five hours a day.

Let us be conservative and stick with 3 hours.

That’s 21 hours a week!

90 hours in a month!

1,095 hours in a year.!

That’s over 45 days of watching TV for 24 hours straight!

This is just watching TV. This does not include time spent looking at your phone!

That’s just insane.

“I don’t have time.”

 

Pffft. Whatever.

 

No, you do have the time – you’re just choosing not use it for the things you say “You don’t have the time for.”

The magic of time optimization

Is life hard sometimes? Yes, it is. Oh god yes. It can feel completely overwhelming and you might feel like you can’t get a breath. But … you still have time … if you don’t waste it.

Single mothers and fathers exist and they make magical things happen. They work multiple jobs, have little or no help from family and they have to do everything themselves. Somehow, they make magic happen.

You know what? I bet you most of these folks have “more time” than most.

Why? How?

They optimize their life to maximize their time.

Furthermore, I bet you they read more books than most too.

Imagine being one who catches the bus at 6:30 am after dropping the kids off at early-drop off and/or daycare/preschool. So what do they do with that next 10–30 minutes of commuting time (before and after work)? They probably use that next 10-30 minutes to listen to a book or podcast or watch a video tutorial that they downloaded on their phone instead of passively looking out the window or on FacebookInstagramRedditNewsetc.

They have the time & you have this same time.

Maybe you don’t commute via train, maybe you drive to work.

Same thing.

Use that time to learn, grow, etc. Maybe you work at home? That’s cool. Listen to books/podcasts while driving/walking to the grocery store or dentist/or wherever you’re driving.

For example, let’s think about the time in the shower. Could that be put to use? Hell yes, it can. Put an audio book on while you’re in the shower. That’s 10-15 minutes a day. 10-15 minutes a day for 30 days is 5 to 7.5 hours. You can easily listen to a book a month simply by listening to it in the shower. Use the Audible app to download books and listen to them on the go.

“I don’t have the time.” Yeah. Ok.

“… but I don’t have time to eat healthy and work out”

Maybe you want to work out and get yourself into better health and don’t have time for the gym. I get it. Do a bodyweight program by any number of fitness trainers 3-5 days a week at home. There a TON of them online for free. Eat salads for lunch. The best shape I got into in my life I worked out two days a week and ate healthy (salads and steamed veggies). The diet did more for me than working out did.

Maybe you don’t have a ton of time for meal prep. Ok, I get it. Then follow intermittent fasting – it helps you learn how to control your hunger and is proven to be very good for your health. Fewer meals to prepare – eating less and improving health? Yes. I’m in. Eat steamed veggies from the microwave for two meals a day with lean grilled meats. Do a meal prep day on Sunday. There are always options.

I once knew a girl in college who would cook beans and rice every Sunday and have that for lunch because she didn’t have time to make lunch every day and bring it to college. She did the work on Sundays. She found the time, owned the problem and fixed it – even on the cheap.

Finding Time is Easy

Finding time is easy if you look hard enough. It’s everywhere. 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there. Before you know it you have an hour or two each day you can use.

If you feel like you don’t have time try to find all the spaces where you’re not doing anything (dentist office waiting, doctors office waiting, at a kids drama practice, waiting) and then use that time to push the ball a little further down the field. I bring my laptop everywhere, just in case I have a free moment to crank things out. In fact, I’m writing this post at my accountant’s office this AM while he’s preparing some documents for me.

I’m not saying to give up that time you spend with your family. That has importance too. Maybe one of your goals is to be a great parent and/or spouse. Then execute on it and find the time to be a great parent. Use the spare time for that. Same for anything else that you find that you want to accomplish. It doesn’t have to be “work” or “business”. If you “don’t have time to walk the dog”, then stop surfing Facebook or Instagram while you’re on the toilet (you know you do it too).

The moral of the story is – you do have the time, it’s most likely being wasted on needless activities that provide no real growth value to you.

Tips

One thing I advise is to try to get up earlier – before anyone else. I’ll admit, it’s not easy. One thing I do the night before is write down a couple of things I want to get done before everyone else gets up (could be work out/run, get task x done, read, work on your project, etc). You get such a head start on the day that you feel positive and happy.

Can you do the same at night? Yes, for sure. Maybe you’re a night owl and get most your work/etc stuff done from 9pm-3am. That’s fine too. However, I will say this – when you’re tired, it’s much easier to simply go to bed and miss out on those hours. When you get a head start at the beginning of the day you start off on the right foot. Waiting to get some stuff done at the end of the day can sometimes fall apart (bad day, super tired, made a bad decision by having few too many at happy hour, etc).

Next, focus on whatever you want to accomplish and execute until it’s done. Don’t lose focus. Do not get distracted. Kill all external distractions. Complete the task at all costs. Striking an item off a to-do list (even if it is mental) is a huge win. Build upon these wins and snowball them.
Be obsessed with your passions and goals. Its ok to be that way. Do you want to be the best parent in the world? Go do it. Don’t let anything stop you. Do you want to be the best long-distance marathon runner? Go do it. Do you want to be the best rheumatologist in the United States? GO. DO. IT.

No one is going to give you anything. You have to get it yourself. You have to take the risks. You have to make it happen. To do those things you’ll need to find the time and trust me, you have it.

 

Make it happen.

 

 

Photo credit: @loic

Make the Most of Your Time

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Make the Most of Your Time
Photo: Uroš Jovičić

Recently, a  friend of mine asked if I wanted to partake in a small side project with him. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to commit to the project so I politely declined.

He responded with:

Dude I totally understand. I’m single at the moment and pretty much have my ass alone to take care of and I can barely remain afloat. You are a rockstar. I don’t know how the hell you can do it.

What he’s saying is that he has no idea how I get so much stuff done with my situation (Married, 2 kids, consulting, founding a company, a podcast, presenting, writing, 3 dogs, 3 cats, etc etc etc).

So how do I get so much stuff done?

Time optimization, 100%.

Don’t get me wrong … I’m not some zen-productivity-master, not at all. I just value my time.

The way I see it is like this:

Time is your life.

Life is Finite

One time I did an exercise that scared me: I took a look at the average life span of a US Male (~78 years) and I calculated the days I had left in my life.

Hint: It’s not that much. 😯

After seeing that number it catapulted me into action. To check yours go here: http://www.countmydays.com/

I’m not being morbid about life, it’s merely factual.

 

Seeing the Number of Days Left in Your Life is Scary

My friend replied back with a shocked face:

I calculated the waking hours I had left in my life.

Holy cow, this freaks me out … 😮

I know the feeling. Every time I look at the number, it’s smaller. 📉 It never goes up. 😢

Not many people look into how many days are left in their life. They should though – as it’s a humbling exercise. I think it’s important as it helps keep yourself grounded and keep your ambitions high because, well, your time is limited. You have less of it than you think.

There’s a popular blog post titled The Tail End in which the author draws little pictures of how many months, weeks and days he has left. He goes on further to outline how much time we have left with loved ones, time left doing things you love, face time with children, etc. Read it, it’s worth your time (pun intended).

You probably never thought about this, but around 90% of the time that you will have spent with your parents was done from the ages of 0-18. So if you have kids – remember this. My daughter just turned 9 and I realized that I’m already 45% through the average time that I will spend with her in our combined lives. That really sucks, but it also puts urgency into what matters – being with my children as much as possible and not taking it for granted.

So … Why am I harping on this so much? 

I’m doing so because your time here is finite. You only have so many at bats and then the game is over. That’s it. All done. Why not give it all you have, all the time? Why not chase those ambitions and dreams? Fix those broken relationships? Say sorry instead of being stubborn. You get what I’m saying.

The value of my time is a primary driver in my decision to work remotely. I know I only have so long with my kids, my wife, my family. Why waste that valuable resource commuting to and from work just to sit at a desk? To me, that’s absolutely insane.

Unfortunately, even though this information is quite eye opening, sometimes people will still avoid doing what they want to do due to fear.

Fear of failure.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of success (yes, it’s really a thing).

Break Down Your Fears and Do It

One of my favorite things to use to combat fear is to utilize a technique known as “Fear Setting“. I picked this up from Tim Ferriss, and you can watch a video on it here – Fear Setting by Tim Ferriss (Ted Talk). It helps you determine what you’re scared of and helps you realize it’s usually not that big of a deal. The video is very important, so please take a few minutes and watch it. Queue it up while you eat your lunch, etc. One of the quotes he uses in the talk is this one –

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality. – Seneca

This is so true. Using quotes like this and a mix of Stoicism to remind you of important things in life makes it easy to appreciate what you have, and how much time you have left and what you can do to maximize it.

Lastly, Steve Jobs has a quote that I often refer to:

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. – Steve Jobs, Stanford 2005 Commencement Speech

I’m not a huge Steve Jobs fan, but this speech really helped ground me. I have a recurring calendar event every 3 months to watch this speech. It always helps course correct me when I’m wandering in the sea of life.

Yeah, I know … you’ve heard that life is short, but seeing it in numbers is humbling and action inspiring, no doubt.

So, how do I get so much done?

I remind myself that life is finite.

 

I’d like to thank Kaushik Gopal for reviewing this article.